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raptorific:

I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and

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Coming from a state champion baker:

docholligay:

If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t. 

Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof. 

This concludes me attempting to be helpful. 

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  • 14 hours ago
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imnotamisandristbut:

I’m not a misandrist, but a few quick questions:

If men can’t even make their own sandwiches, why are they allowed to make bills in congress?

If men can’t control their own sexual urges, why are they allowed to control nations?

If a woman’s legs/shoulders are enough to distract a man, how can we trust them to stay focused on things like open heart surgery or judging a murder trial?

Again not a misandrist, some of my best friends are guys and i’m even dating one.

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  • Anonymousyour husband seems like a dick kill him. also does ghosts still exist?
  • billyteddy

    he is a dick and killing him is on my list, but he’s attractive so i’m going to get one more kid out of him

    i’m not sure on the ghost front, i guess we’ll find out after i kill my husband and put his gravestone in my backyard 

  • The Miserably Magnificent And Misunderstood

    itseasytoremember:

    YOU NEED TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS ABOUT THE SIMS

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kingcheddarxvii:

I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why

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just-raowolf:

malijuanastyles:

malijuanastyles:

I think it’s lovely how you can sit in a classroom and visualize having sex with someone and nobody will notice at all

do you know how many angry boys have messaged me about boners because of this post

This plan became flawed for me when someone pointed out that I have a “imagining people naked” expression.

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timecannotberewritten:

ueaq:

"when im 20 he’ll be 25" but you arent???? 20. youre 15??? and he is 20????????? why is a 20 year old into 15 year olds

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